As promised, here is the second part of the 15 Practical Things to Do in Dealing with Grief:
6. GET REAL
Be honest with people around you, especially with those who truly care for you. As much as they want to help you, they can only do so much, or they really don’t know what to do. Tell them how you feel and what’s going on in your heart and mind. It would be better if you can tell them what to and not to expect from you at this season of your grief. Tell them what triggers your grief, your emotional struggles and even your physical condition. However, limit yourself with a few trusted people with whom you can bear your soul.
7. VENT OUT CONSTRUCTIVELY
Grieving is not an excuse to be rude. At times you may feel jealous that the people around you are happy when your heart is breaking, but do not be bitter just because they cannot be like you. You can pour out what is inside your heart by listening to meditative songs, writing on your journal, writing a song, do some exercises, sing your heart out, dance till you drop or meditate on songs, quotes or verses.
I’d like to share with you this popular song in the 90s by Air Supply. Eversince, I love the lyrics of this song. In the height of my sorrow, this song ministered to me and I was comforted and motivated to press on. Many people were apalled and encouraged because they had been hearing that song over and over again, but it is only when I post my meditation on the lyrics that people have learned to appreciate its heartwarming lyrics. Here it is:
8. SEIZE YOUR TIME TO LAUGH
“when we have the chance to smile or laugh, please seize the moment because it brings healing to our soul”
If you are watching a funny show or someone makes you laugh, do so, without feeling guilty. Some people feel guilty smiling or laughing while grieving. Others are even preventing their family members to laugh or have fun with the old belief that one cannot be merry unless 1 year of grieving is over. I personally advise that when we have the chance to smile or laugh, please seize the moment because it brings healing to our soul.
9. STRENGTHEN YOUR BOND WITH YOUR FAMILY OR LOVED ONES WHO ARE LEFT BEHIND
It may lead you to get reconciled with someone you have a strained relationship with. Let bygones be bygones. Grieving may also make you realize that life is too short to live in anger or bitterness.
10. MAKE NEW FRIENDS, BUT KEEP THE OLD
While it is common for grieving people to isolate themselves, others gravitate toward people of their kind – fellow mourners. Finding a grief recovery support group like Grief Share opened my world to a whole new community of beautiful people. Here, I met new friends who can understand the depth of my sorrow and the severity of my pain. We found solace in each other’s journey. We cried and prayed together. On the other hand, do not lose your old friends because it is only your circumstances that have changed and not the status of your friendship. In my experience, my husband’s passing paved a way for me to reconnect with long lost friends like my high school and college friends and even with those who are already living abroad. This is the best time to catch up and reach out to them.
Watch out for my next blog as I share with you the conclusion of this article. If you are interested to know more about Grief Share, you may visit www.griefshare.org.